I just want to be the Proverbs 31 wife, not the warrior woman.
Dear brothers and sisters,
I have enjoyed the amount of intentional conversations that I have had lately. I think
the current pandemic has allowed me to slow down and do many things I have
known I needed to do. I have been cooking and cleaning more. Which is something
I have not been healthy enough to do the last five years. I have had a series
of conversations lately that have driven me to write this to you today. First I
was doing a Hebrew bible study with a small group that I meet with on
Thursdays. It is Basically each of the APEST sitting around the table sharing
what the Lord is revealing to them. It is a group that, while I am thankful
for, without Jesus we might never know each other. While doing a study on
Hebrews words, a couple of us gave each other new Hebrew names. I was told that
I would be called the woman warrior due to all I have been through. At the time
we were not positive what the word was... I showed admiration for the name and
kept my personal desires to myself. I have been a warrior for too long. I just
want to be the humble, lace aproned, bread making, clothes folding Proverbs 31
wife I pictured from a better homes and gardens magazine I saw on a coffee
table at the doctor’s office as a child. Fast forward and I find myself having
conversations with many women who are struggling. Struggling to get up earlier
to spend time with Jesus, struggling to keep their house clean, struggling to
get laundry done, struggling to get motivated to cook yet another meal,
struggling with the desire to be intimate with their husbands, struggling with
wanting to be a stay at home mom, struggling with wanting to work. The list of
struggles goes on and on. The reasons for why each thing is a struggle is very
real and very personal. I won’t go into their details any further. I have had
all of these struggles. I have struggled to be motivated. I have struggled to
keep my house up. I have struggled to want to cook, I have struggled to desire
an intimate relationship with my husband. Up until Saturday, there were about
three distinct piles of clothes on my bedroom floor. When my home is messy, it
stresses me out. I try to keep up between running this house, raising 3 kids, making
disciples, going to school full time and now homeschooling my 3 children. My
first thought when I see the mess, is that I am failing at what I want to be.
This Proverbs 31 woman. I suck. This is my job and it is not getting completed.
When ever I would have conversations with the woman who walked with me, I never
left feeling beat up or defeated. So why should I leave the Lord’s word feeling
that way? I recently dug in further to this exquisite creature that I desired to
emulate. The first thing that I noticed was that this whole chapter was a
prophecy most likely brought to Solomon from his mother, Bathsheba. The next
thing that I see is the whole epilogue of the noble woman has three different
themes. The first section verses 10-12 reflects the wife’s value. The next
section verses 13-27 describe things she does. The third section, verses 28-31,
praises her. The interesting part is that her value is not hinged on the things
she does. When you look at verse 10, A wife of noble character, who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies. When I dug in to this I found that the word
Noble was not used until the mid 1500’s when men were beginning to fear the
power that women had. Until this time the word Powerful was used. It is a
translation from the original Hebrew word “Chayil” (Khah’-yil). This word Chayil
is spelled in Hebrew Chet-Yood-Lamed. The Chet is the symbol of a gate that represents
a safe place. The Yood symbol that looks like the arm represents mighty work.
The Lamed represents the shepherd staff and demonstrates the voice of
authority. So here with them all together this word of power comes from a place
of protection that performs mighty work and falls under strong leadership. The
few other times this word is used, it is used of strong men in battle. The next
word that stuck out to me was Rubies. The word here was translated from the
Hebrew word “Peninim” (paw-neen). At the time that this text was wrote the
original word was more likely to mean Pearls than Rubies. There is great significance
in this. While rubies are beautiful, they can occur naturally all over the
world. A pearl however does not occur naturally. Well not quite. A pearl is only
formed when a foreign piece of shell, bone, sand, or parasite get in a mollusk.
The mollusk will then form a nucleus around the foreign body. The mollusk will
continue to coat the foreign body with several layers of nacre for many years. Most
natural pearls vary in size, color, and time it takes to make them. So, this
woman we are speaking of in Proverbs 31 is rarer than a gem that is only made
when a mollusk takes its injury and turns it into something beautiful? The odds
of a mollusk making a pearl are about 1 in 10,000. So, from this I am seeing
that while rare, it is possible. A proverbs 31 woman is not a perfect wife.
Rather a wife that creates a sanctuary for her family. She is willing to do
mighty work, whatever that looks like for her. She is also one that submits to
the authority of God and her husband. I guess the woman warrior is the Proverbs
31 wife. No matter what my house looks like…
Surley your goodness and love will follow me all the days
of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Pslam 23:6
Your sister, Eshet Chayil