Yatsa
In September 2016, I received an email from Harrah Church, asking for help with the youth. I had been at the church for about a month. I knew that I wanted to “get involved”. I had no clue what all would be involved. I was going through a rough period of my life and desperately needed something. I had no clue that the something was “Jesus”. I owned a Bible, but I hadn’t opened it more than a dozen times. I was still socially drinking. When I say socially, I mean at every social gathering, every meeting, every meal. My daughter was on her seventh month of colic. I was starting to get sick and feel pain more and more. When I spoke to the church about helping with the youth, I was asked to fill out a form for a background check. As soon as that came back saying I had never been convicted of a crime, I was in. I was suddenly ready to help lead teens to Christ! WHAT! I hadn’t even been really led to Christ. If you asked me to tell you my favorite scripture, I would have said John 3:16. Not because it was, but because that is the only one I knew.
Whenever I start to think “What in the world was God doing when he pointed me towards the youth!”, I am reminded of Moses. I am not comparing myself to Moses. I am just reminded of how the Lord knew that he was an impostor, murderer, and deserter and still saw his value.
It has now been over four years since I began my journey with the youth. Many things about myself have changed. Many things about the ministry have changed. I have watched the process of invitation and covenant loyalty form. I have seen leaders come and go. I have witnessed teens come to know Christ. I have been in attendance at student’s birthday parties, swim meets, hospitalizations, funerals, football games, 3am suicidal phone calls, lice treatments, car wrecks, prom pictures, graduations, baptisms and even buried a pet in the middle of the night in the dead of winter. Many of these things were not listed in the job description email. Each one of these experiences have impacted my life in a different way. Some of these things hurt and nearly drained my overly empathetic soul. Many of these things grew pillars of faith in me. For every hard thing I went through or witnessed, the Lord gave me ten good things.
Over the last few months, the Lord has been preparing me to move on. Believe that not all preparation feels good, just as no discipline feels good at the time. I have had to lay down pride and humble myself. I have had to meet people at the alter for forgiveness and confession.
The Israelites came to Egypt to escape famine. They went to the place that had food and nourishment. They were eventually enslaved. Therefor in need of an exit. A yatsa. The Lord made a way for them to leave. They still had to make the choice to leave. Leaving was not easy. It was hard. There were many unknowns. They had to trust God. Once they were out of Egypt, many became angry with God when they were tested in the wilderness. Many were thirsty and hungry. Each time, the Lord provided water and the Lord provided manna. All they had to do was trust and obey.
I came to Harrah Church and youth ministries because I was hungry for something. The Lord fed my soul well. My brothers and sisters have continuously washed me with the Word. I have formed relationships that are boundless. I have reached the season of my life where I must listen to the Lord and trust where he is taking me. I started this yatsa a few months ago. The last thing I had to do was humble myself and show love and admiration to the one I am leaving in my place. I was able to do this at camp. As for Mercedes and all the youth disciple makers who come after me, just as Moses told Joshua, The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you, he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8) I love you all and I pray the hard things grow you and I pray the good things build pillars in you.
As for myself… Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life…